Things left behind....

Several cousins, my two aunts, and myself spent a couple days cleaning out grandma's house... While cleaning out her dresser we came across jars of tummy tuck cream, breast enhancement cream, lingerie, a bottle of lube, and a mysterious white slender rectangular shaped box. I read the side of the box "vaginal dialator". I said "Oh my gawd" and dropped it. My cousin, SHM, said "No way" and proceeded to open the box. My cousin, EHA, and I both shreik, and yell "Don't touch it." SHM dumps the contents of the box on to a kleenex and we all yell "Oh my gawd" as our worst fears are confirmed... Grandma's dildo... The side of the box also was labled "Size M".. SHM asked "Why would she need a medium?" I said, "Well, she was married twice and had 3 kids...."

All of us are now scarred for life.

From the mouths of babes....

My older sister and her family came down for the funeral. So I got plenty of time to bond and hang out with my 5 nephews. The range in age from 11 down to 2 years old....

Nephew #1

He gets in my car, buckles his seat belt, turns to me and says "Is this going to be a scenic drive?"

I was floored... I turned back to him and said, "Well only if you find cows to be and hay bales scenic."

Nephew #2

He plops down next to me and says "You're pretty, I'm going to call you Auntie Princess".

Who am I to argue? The kid is a good judge of character....

Nephew #3

He's sitting in between me and one of my cousins and says "When you two get older, I'm going to buy you brooms so you can fly"

My cousin and I look at each other in shock as my dad pipes in and says "Make sure they have a place to plug in their cell phones"


Nephew #4
I walked into my Aunts house and noticed a big crack in the ceiling of the dining room and asked her what happened...

My nephew walks by and says "Oh that? I did that when I broke in to steal the chickens. Sorry." Then grabs a bunch of grapes and walks out to the backporch like nothing happened.

Nephew #5

Nephew #5 is the youngest. He's the cutest little snuggle bear. At the end of the wake when we were all leaving the funeral home I said "Come on baby, it's time to go, say goodbye to Grandma Tiger. " He ran halfway up the aisle, waved and said "Bye grandma, see you tomorrow."

Aparently my birthday kills grandmothers...

October 19th was my birthday. On my birthday I received a call from my favorite cousin to tell me that if I wanted to say goodbye to our grandmother while she was still living, I should make arrangements to do so ASAP. I made the trip the next day. I was so shocked when I saw how much she had deteriorated so quickly. I had just seen her a couple months ago and just talked to her about a week before. She could hardly speak and was mostly paralyzed. She fought for about a week longer and finally passed on October 24th.

I had the honor of writing a eulogy for my grandmother...

Grandma was a classy Southern lady who wasn't too shy to order a mug of beer with dinner or tell you exactly how she felt, often in the form of a letter.

Grandma took great pride in and loved her many grandchildren and great-granchildren no matter how far away or how much trouble we were in.

EHA, JDP, and I had the great privlidge of growing up the closest to her. Grandma was our babysitter and daycare service. Because of this, we know our way around a backyard vegetable garden, the rest of Paul Harvey's stories, to look both ways before crossing the street, and perhaps the most important, don't stand barefoot on the floor furnace.

Just last night I was talking to my mother reminiscing about Grandma. She said that if anyone so enjoyed their walk to the Lord, it was Grandma. Every morning she would get up at 5:00am to study her bible and to write in her journal. The last couple evenings since her passing myself and the rest of the grandchildren have been reading her journals. All of her entries were prayers and praise to the Lord. Most of her prayers were for the family to grow closer together and closer to God. Her most recent prayers were for the Lord to heal her body and make her whole.

Although she will be greatly missed in this world, her prayers have been answered, she is finally with the Lord, healed and whole.

In Memory

Twenty three years ago tomorrow my grandma died. It was just three days before my third birthday. I don't remember much about her, but my earliest memories are of her. My mom and the rest of the family did a wonderful job of bringing me up knowing what a wonderful person she was and how much she loved me. One of the last things she did was for me. The day she died she signed two birthday cards for me, one from her and grandpa and the other from her pet bird, Mario. She had also got me a book and had wrote a note in the inside cover for me. When Mom flew out to California to get the family and funeral together, she found those items on her desk in the room where she died. I still have both cards and the book.

I've noticed through the years the strange things that Mom, my uncle, and I have held on to just because they had some connection to Grandma. Mom keeps a ratty pair of brown knee socks in the back of her sock drawer, and a half done needlework of a clown hanging on her closet door. My uncle keeps a pillow that she embroidered on his sofa. I keep a an old torn t-shirt of hers hanging on a hook in my closet, and a coupon for 7cents off Lenders Bagels that expired in May of 1982 as a bookmark in one of my cookbooks. Mom keeps the socks because she had borrowed them and forgot to return them and the clown because one day she'll pick up where grandma left off. My uncle keeps the pillow around because she made it for him when he was a boy. I keep the shirt because I can remember her wearing it, I even wore it for a nightgown for a few years when I was little. I keep the coupon because it fell out of a cookbook of hers, if it was a good enough bookmark for her, it'll work for me too. The average person would probably see these things as junk, but to the keepers of these items, it's a bridge to someone that has long left this world, but never our hearts

I got over you

You said you needed time. I said fine, I was willing to wait. How long did you really expect me to wait? I had no contact from you for MONTHS. I got tired of crying on the bathroom floor waiting for you. We've been playing this game for 12 years. It's time to grow up. It's over. You should've been the first to accept it since you were the one to puss out on it. You're the one that fucked up, not me. I was ready to marry you and live the happily ever after we've been talking about since we were kids. Moving on and getting over you was the last thing I thought I'd ever do. It's been hard forgetting about "us". It still hurts sometimes, but everyday it gets easier. I like my new life here in the city and I have no intentions of leaving, not even for you.




Over You Daughtry

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.