To my Blue Eyed Boy

I think I've finally let you go. It's taken almost four years, and you haven't exactly made it easy, but I did it. I clung to you because you were my first love, and until fairly recently, my only love. I couldn't let you go because I believed I couldn't be happy with anyone else. I compared everyone to you. I compared every relationship to ours... Every kiss, every touch to the ones we once shared. There's only one you, and there's only one us. Our love was one of a kind and I'm damn lucky and glad to have had it. I no longer cry because it's over, I smile because it happened. Goodbye, my first love. Don't forget to remember that moment once in a while.

Q

Maya Angelou said, "people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

I never felt as bad as I did the entire time you were a part of my life. I felt worthless. I felt abandoned. I never felt like I was good enough for you. I felt so unloved, and at times even unloveable. I have never felt such darkness, dispair, and failure.

It's not that I wasn't good enough for you, I was TOO good for you. I didn't just support you, I lifted you up and held you in a place of reverence that you had no business even being close to. I am so glad that load has been removed from my shoulders.

It's not that I'm unloveable, it's just that the only person that you are capeable of loving is yourself..

Although the way you went about doing it was rather shitty, you leaving me was the best thing you could have ever done for me. It took a couple weeks for me to see the hint of blue sky behind the gray clouds, but the darkness is finally gone and my life is once again filled with hope and sunshine.