Starting Over

A few months ago I finally broke up with a really great guy that I'd been with for over 2 years. It was a really hard decision to make and an even harder thing to do. He didn't do anything wrong, he was the perfect boyfriend. He always made a big deal about birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's day, and all the other times guys can be bone heads about. He was even half-way decent in the sack. He was the first guy to make me orgasm from sex. He sent me dozens of roses over the time we were together and frequently surprised me with all kinds of gifts. He liked to go shopping and would even attempt to cook. His world seemed like it revolved around me. I couldn't handle that anymore. It was boring. I didn't realize how bored I was until a good friend of mine asked me what it was me and that guy had in common. I got all defensive and angry at that friend because I couldn't come up with an answer on the spot. I seriously started thinking about that. After knowing someone for almost 4 years and dating for over 2 of those years, that should have been really easy to answer. That marked the beginning of the end.

I decided that perhaps I just needed some space from the relationship to figure out my feelings for him. During that time of exploring my space, I did a few things that I'd like to say that I'm not proud of, but instead, in some sick way I AM proud of them. I'm proud that I had the guts to do some of the things I did, kinda proud that I got away with them, but I'm almost ashamed because I hurt such a great person that didn't deserve it.